So when you are in a relationship with a narcissist its like being on an emotional roller coaster. First they have nothing nice to say to you ever. They are always right and then they cause some drama or another and when you are totally distraught they turn around and tell you that you are the one that caused the drama. Then in a short space of time they act as if nothing happened and you feel as if you imagined the fight, the verbal or physical abuse, and they are all smiles again.
They seem to have only one purpose and that is to make you emotionally insecure and actually just try and drive you insane. This just gives them the opportunity to turn around and say to the world. “See what I have to live with, she has a problem and I am a saint for living with this”
The way they take the truth and twist it is downright evil and they can do it with such conviction in their truth that everyone they speak to believes it, whether its in court, or their close friends and acquaintances.
They twist and change events so that it suits them and makes them look good. He tells everyone its all about the children and he is looking after them and protecting them from me as there is something wrong. So during the divorce he persuaded everyone he was the best person to have them most of the time. Yet!… he wanted me to fetch them from school, take care of them, feed them and help them with homework and then he would fetch them in the evening from me. So then how terrible am I if I am OK to be the nanny! I would try and tell the lawyers and social workers this but he was very manipulative and had an answer ready for any question.
Post Divorce, so I take my child to the doctor for a refill of her medication. He finds out and its World War 3. I am told that I do not include him in decision making and whatever else he can think to bad-mouth me. She is not ill, she just went for a refill of medication she takes regularly. Just a few weeks later and my other child ends up in hospital while in his care. He does not bother to inform me or let me know. If it had been me he would probably have taken me to court for some or other infraction.
So whatever the narcissist wants is what the narcissist gets, they are control freaks beyond measure. But their rules for you do not apply to them. When my children are in his care or he has them for holidays, I am not allowed to interfere, but he has hijacked so many of my holidays, promising the kids things he knows they would prefer to staying with me. One weekend my child did not want to go to him for his visitation,(take note she was 16 at the time) and he freaked out, I was sent lawyers letters and threats, he harassed me with phone calls , emails, etc. This was my child’s decision but I was to blame. This is also something he does very well. Anything that goes wrong or happens is somehow my fault. The blame game works very well.
Isobel